The story of N

My best friend N and I have the strangest relationship. He considers me to be one of the boys, and I consider him almost like a gay guy (he is a total bitch. one time he scratched up his knee and then was whining about it for like 2 weeks. bitch). We constantly tease one another. It has especially escalated since I've gotten my piercing. But we did used to have sex. For a little while we would hook up occasionally, he even came with me to my prom and we got a trashy motel room after, it was great. It was totally awesome, no strings attached fun for a while, till I eventually felt like I might be catching some feelings and decided to distance myself. At which time he got back with his ex. We've hooked up many a times since, but the feelings never returned, thank goodness. Now don't get me wrong, I consider N to be the love of my life in a way because he is one of only 2 (non-family) people that I know that I want to be a part of my life for the rest of my life. Over time I even started loosing my attraction to N little by little, and so now our sexcapades have dropped to maybe one every year. We keep them kind of secret, as in we don't really talk about them. I mean it would be kind of embarrassing to admit that I has sex with a lil bitch, and that N banged out a total dude.