Finally

I did it, I did it, or I should say he did it, he did it! My patience has finally paid off. All this time spent reading that silly relationship, it couldn't be any worse then what i have been doing. Low and behold the damn thing actually works. A finally kissed me all on his own today. Phew, let me wipe the sweat off my forehead. It was a short kiss, and it only happened once, but it is still major progress. Especially for me, considering now I am definate that he is interested in me as more then just a friend. Now the next step is figuring out what that more is. I do hope it's not just booty, he doesn't seem the type, but one never knows and so the best thing is to assume that he is. Only way to find out is not to give it up and see how long he sticks around.

Old friends meet the new and improved Alice

All the work that I have been trying to do on myself seems to be paying off. Transformation is definately not complete, but it is right on schedule. Last night I went to a local bar with an old friend. We ran into another friend (I used to be really cool with his lil sis), and the drinking began. It was fun, good talks, good times. Since I walked to the bar the brother offered me a lift home, but instead he drove to a parking lot. I've got to admit that it was unexpected. In the bar he rambled about his awesome woman and his plan to propose. I declined, politely, multiple times. He eventually got the point and took me home, he apologized a bit later via text.

The point of the story is that knowing myself the old Alice would've probably went for it. He's not ugly, and I was drunk. Old Alice almost always went for it. But not the new and improved Alice.

personal condoms

You have to love sweet, clean, respectful clients. It amazes me when guys come in and completely exceed my expectations of kindness. I had a gentleman who came in, brought his own condom (made custom just for him, due to him having a rather small member), he got his thing on, it only lasted a few minutes, and he left.... It was perfect.

Last night I went on my first date with A. We have hung out alone a couple of times already, and since we have been having a really great time getting to know one another a date was in order. We went to my favorite restaurant, and ate some awesome food. Then we went back to his place and talked for hours. He is so genuine, and sincere, and kind that it just blew me out of the water. For like two hours I sat there plotting on how to get him to kiss me, or how to psyche myself up enough to kiss him. I eventually did, and it was great. I felt like a teenager. I was so nervous that I am amazed that my palms were not sweaty. He kissed me again. They were short but passionate kisses, and it seemed that if they were to continue things would progress. But they didn't, which completely threw my whole train off track. Wait what? We are alone in your house, I look amazing, we smoked some bud, I had a drink, and we kiss and.... nothing. Like really nothing. Other then smiles and some still upbeat yet slightly awkward conversation. Tho it was probably only awkward on my part. Never, and I mean never has this happened before. Of course I did not want things to progress, I'm trying to be good and stop my terrible habit of sleeping with guys right away and then trying to get to know them. It does not work, ever. But regardless I never thought it would be this easy, or more it has never before happened that a guy didn't at least try. They always try. But he didn't, he did not try a thing. Actually when he dropped me off and I was getting out the car and gave him a hug he turned his head so that I was not able to kiss him. Way to throw a stick in my wheel buddy.

The logical (hopefull) side of me is thinking that he is just this really amazing, respectfull guy, that does not want to take advantage of me and actually just wants to get to know me.

Then there is the paranoid side that thinks that I came on too hard, I gave it up too easy (but it was just a kiss!!!!!), and he thinks he's got it in the bag and no longer wants it.

Or maybe he just wants to be friends, he did just get out of a relationship. Grumble grumble. what is a girl to do?

work friends

I have gotten to spend some time with a few of the girls that work for (or did work for in one case) the same Agency as I. It has amazed me how different each one of the girls is. How different they look at things, how different their mindsets are, the different situations that they are in, and different backgrounds that they seem to come from.

The first girl I met had/has a pimp, she calls him her boyfriend, but any man that knows you're working, encourages it, even books you out and then takes most of your money is your pimp. Even more so if he is doing the same to other girls, including his baby mama.

The second girl has her own Agency back home, and is also dating a man that also runs an Agency. But he works his stuff like a pro and not like a pimp. She seemed to be very in control of everything, and had a very good grasp on how she wanted to live and stuck to it. I didn't neccessarily agree with it, she placed a monitary value on most relationship, especially ones involving men. All except her main man, who pays his dues in other ways, had to be filling her pocket as she calls it. Nothing comes free, and her pussy is gold, so ofcourse it deserves to be taken care of. She is so far my favorite of the girls that I've met, seems to have the best head on her shoulders.

The third girl is one that I have the least in common with I feel. She is a really sweet girl, but the more we talked, and the more we opened up to one another the more I felt like she was a bit jaded from the business. Then I realized that she has always had a very different relation with men then I have. A different understanding of what a relationship should look like. It seems to be working for her which is great, but I could not see myself that way.

I am not judging any of the girls, just taking note. I do not consider myself better then any of them, just different.