personal condoms

You have to love sweet, clean, respectful clients. It amazes me when guys come in and completely exceed my expectations of kindness. I had a gentleman who came in, brought his own condom (made custom just for him, due to him having a rather small member), he got his thing on, it only lasted a few minutes, and he left.... It was perfect.

Last night I went on my first date with A. We have hung out alone a couple of times already, and since we have been having a really great time getting to know one another a date was in order. We went to my favorite restaurant, and ate some awesome food. Then we went back to his place and talked for hours. He is so genuine, and sincere, and kind that it just blew me out of the water. For like two hours I sat there plotting on how to get him to kiss me, or how to psyche myself up enough to kiss him. I eventually did, and it was great. I felt like a teenager. I was so nervous that I am amazed that my palms were not sweaty. He kissed me again. They were short but passionate kisses, and it seemed that if they were to continue things would progress. But they didn't, which completely threw my whole train off track. Wait what? We are alone in your house, I look amazing, we smoked some bud, I had a drink, and we kiss and.... nothing. Like really nothing. Other then smiles and some still upbeat yet slightly awkward conversation. Tho it was probably only awkward on my part. Never, and I mean never has this happened before. Of course I did not want things to progress, I'm trying to be good and stop my terrible habit of sleeping with guys right away and then trying to get to know them. It does not work, ever. But regardless I never thought it would be this easy, or more it has never before happened that a guy didn't at least try. They always try. But he didn't, he did not try a thing. Actually when he dropped me off and I was getting out the car and gave him a hug he turned his head so that I was not able to kiss him. Way to throw a stick in my wheel buddy.

The logical (hopefull) side of me is thinking that he is just this really amazing, respectfull guy, that does not want to take advantage of me and actually just wants to get to know me.

Then there is the paranoid side that thinks that I came on too hard, I gave it up too easy (but it was just a kiss!!!!!), and he thinks he's got it in the bag and no longer wants it.

Or maybe he just wants to be friends, he did just get out of a relationship. Grumble grumble. what is a girl to do?