Sometimes I want to kick myself for how dumb I am. I had my second "date" with CF yesterday, and what do I do? What else, I fuck him. Now I am all kinds of mad at myself. Things completely change once that line is crossed, tho it has been rather clear that was the plan from the beginning. Not like him and I could actually date or anything, I mean seriously, we already got into an argument yesterday. He tried to tell me what to do, not ask, tell. Yeah right, the only people that give me orders are my father and the people I work for. Still it would have been nice to have kept things a wee bit more innocent for a lil bit longer. It also would have been nice for our first time not to have been at a strangers house. The setting was so strange that I can't even get into it, and luckily I don't remember much due to the excessive drinking I participated in most of the day. I do remember that I give the best blow jobs ever! I should put that down on my resume. Well, whatever, it happened, no turning back time, I can't have a boy friend anyway, especially not one that is demandning or possessive.


I am looking forward to some dates once again. After my 2 week vacation. There are two dates that I am especially looking forward to as they will allow me to further develope my Mistress side. So far I am sticking to some very basic stuff, you know, gotta start at the bottom and work ones way up. I am tutoring myself with Divine Bitches videos, and they have sparked my interest in a couple of things.