My birthday

My birthday just passed and I am doing my best not to dwell on the fact that I am now closer to 30 then I am to 20.

The celebrating went well. Spent the day with a close girlfriend sipping Mimosas, and the evening with a very nice fella, it was our first date. This was a civilian date, tho if you think about it really what is the difference, he had to pay for dinner, drinks, etc. After dinner we went back to my place, played a board game, and were picking a movie to watch. The good times were ruined when H decided to start texting me with insults. It is really sad that he is incapable of understanding that I want nothing to do with him, but this time he took things too far. He decided to start calling me a whore, and not just a whore but a mediocre one, since I have no ass and my tits aren't that big. A totally different song then he was singing when we were together. If I had been sober at the time of receiving these messages I would have just shrugged it off to him being a pathetic loser, but since I was not sober I took it to heart and got really upset. I called my best friend N and told him about it and he said he'll reach out to him and tell him to stop, but in the end he got mad at me for getting him involved in the drama.

I'm over it now, truly, but at the time it did bother the hell out of me, and it hurt. This was the second time in my life that someone has called me a whore out of malice. The first was when I was a dancer in San Francisco, and it also made me cry. I guess whore is just not a term that I am fond of, funny since Cunt is one of my favorite words.

Well I finally figured out how to block phone numbers on my phone and he is officially blocked. Fuck you very much.

On another note my date was really sweet. When the whole thing went down and I felt myself becoming hysterical I asked him to leave, and not only did he do so without arguing he even took the liquor with him when I wasn't looking so that I don't drink more and make shit worse. Or maybe he just wanted it for himself, who knows. Once I caught my breath again, calmed down, and decided that I do not want to end my birthday on such a crappy note I called him and asked if he'd be interested in picking me up and hanging out at his place instead, and so he did.

He's very nice, a perfect gentleman, handsome, and seems to have his shit together. Probably all the years he has spent in the police and military, and by all the years I really do mean a big chunk of change. Which brings in a slight problem. When I first met him I assumed that he was in his mid 30s, yet it turns out that I was off by a decade. I wish that this did not pose an issue but it does. Last time I dated someone with whom I had such a big age gap they treated me like a puppy. So now of course I am afraid that this may happen again, I am even more reluctant because I did tell him of my profession, I do believe in being honest and am not ashamed of what I do. So now I may just be the chic that he gets to fuck for free while others pay. Yes I spent the night with him, and yes we did fuck multiple times, the next day he took me home in the afternoon and I have not heard from him since. I just made that sound like a bad thing, it isn't. It has only been 24 hours. I would truly not care too much if he never called me again, though it might be awkward since I did apply for a job at the bar that we first met at, and I know that he frequents the establishment. I am not actively looking for a man, especially not one that is so much older then me, since the likelihood that anything long term will occur is slim. If someone decides to pursue me, like he did, and the spark is there then I am all for giving it a shot just to see.

I'm not longer sure where I was going with this, so in the end all I have left to say is HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!